I'm so screwed.

You know, it occurred to me last night that I'm getting married in less than 2 months, and we haven't done a god damned thing to get ready. I mean, nothing. I know it's been done in shorter periods of time, but I'm not likin' this at all. No justice of the peace, no appropriate clothes, no music. No invitations. No rings. We are so fucked. At least that's what everyone says.

This being the 3rd or 4th date that we've post-poned to, I don't think convincing Kym to put it off again is in the cards. Not to mention the parents. Dear god, the parents. They have all sorts of helpful (read: worse than useless) recommendations of the half-measures and comprimises we can submit to in order to have some sort of wedding on October 7th. Rented tux. A local minister who's just been ordained. And so forth.

Now, we want a secular wedding; no religious overtones or undertones. Not into the church thing, us. And a rented tux... No, Roger, just no.

I have no idea how we're gonna pull this off, really. I shudder to think of the scenes that will no doubt be occurring between now and then. These scenes are likely to include:

1) A wedding-dress-related meltdown.

2) A wedding-cake-related meltdown.

3) A guestlist-related meltdown of biblical proportions.

4) A sudden panic related to the honeymoon (which, in passing, has barely been discussed at all).

I'm gonna need more vodka.....