Had the weirdest dream a while back...

I dreamed that my new bride wanted to get back together with her -ex, the one who introduced us to each other while the two of them were still living together in perfect misery. Why I would dream of this, I couldn't say. Kym practically makes a religion out of hating the guy, but anywho. Dreams are like that.

So, there she and I are in the dream, tensely discussing whether or not it would be appropriate for her to have a side-relationship with ONE OF THE BIGGEST DIRTY DOUCHEBAGS EVER. She seems to think it was a pretty good idea, but I'm not so sure. And with ONE OF THE BIGGEST DIRTY DOUCHBAGS EVER standing over my shoulder, prodding me, poking me, taunting me, I'm not taking the whole thing gracefully. I'm wondering (in the dream, that is) where I left that shotgun... Details are hazy, but this is basically the scene.

Then, in the way that dreams do, the scene changes all of a sudden. It's still the same dream, with the same context, but we're elsewhere in the house that we were all sharing ("we" meaning Kym, myself, Maeve and ONE OF THE BIGGEST DIRTY DOUCHEBAGS EVER). Maeve's there with Kym and I, but there's a someone else there as well now. This guy:

Yeah, that confused me a little even inside the dream, where it's supposed to make sense. Anyway, the next thing I know, Busta Rhymes is laying down the shit. The rules. How it's gonna be, so to speak. And what Bussa Bus says to me, as he looks me intensely in the eye, is this:

"Dawg, me and Maeve are goin' fo' a walk. You," and he stabs an authoritative finger in my direction," You fix this." By which he means, of course, "I'll take care of the kid, you patch this up with your wife."

And you know what? That's just what I did. Busta Rhymes saved my marriage. At least, he did in my dream. And you know what? I bet he'd do it in real life too, if he had to. Busta Rhymes is like that. He's got rhymes galore, and he ain't afraid to use them. Should people be walkin' around fearin' him? Hell no, this is a good guy here. He saves marriages. He takes care of children. He sticks by his peeps. Luck is when he and his people come and enter your town. Remember that. But keep your hands where his eyes can see... He's a bit edgy sometimes.

And the worst part of all of this? I'm not even really a fan. Well, okay, if I were to pick a rap artist that I don't want to see facedown in a ditch, it'd be Bussa Bus. He is the closest approximation to good music that rap has to offer, ODB notwithstanding (he's better for comic effect than anything else anyway). I used to get high and just watch that fucked up "Gimme Some Mo'" video over and over. That shit is trippy.

I think I'll go out and buy a couple albums, actually. It's the least I can do, I think. After all, Busta Rhymes did save my marriage. And Maeve really seemed to take to him too...